EPISODE 183 "TIME TRAVEL PART V"[]
THE LOST CHAPTER: STEVEN'S LEGOS[]
A warm summer fog rolled in one dark night in Clearwater, Nebraska. A farmhouse rests on a large plot of land, the nearest neighbors were miles and miles away. In the dreary basement of the farmhouse, a television set barely lit the room. The television had antennas coming out of the top and dials on the side to change the channel. The fuzzy picture was playing old reruns of the Golden Girls in black and white. Steven, a scraggly middle-aged man sat in the middle of the room playing with colorful blocks. His clothes were ripped, hair was knotted and his face was unshaven. A recliner sat facing the television with Steven’s mom reclined backward.
“Ring, ring, ring” Steven made a phone ringing sound with his mouth. He walked over to his toy box and pulled out a small wooden toy phone.
“Hello, Steven speaking…Wonderful…Thanks for calling.” He put down the phone. “Mom, you won’t believe who called me again. It was me from the future. He told me how to build another time machine. Yippee,” Steven exclaimed gleefully. His mom sat there silent, not saying a word. “Oh mom, I’m not full of beans,” Steven giggled.
Steven dumped a box of Legos out on the floor and feverishly built a contraption with a bunch of knobs. After a few minutes “Mom, it’s done. I built another time machine. Here’s how this one works. I connect it to my head and my stomach,” Steven said while he attached himself to the Legos with a thin piece of rope. "Since there is a full moon and a black cat outside…it…uh… steps up the soul energy through the…uh… dio-circuit and it makes two points of resonance. According to my calculation… KABLOOEY. Look mom, I’m flying through time.” Steven ran around the room with his arms out like he was an airplane.
He pulled out foil and duct tape. After minutes of diligent work, he created a homemade helmet and a sword. “Look mom, I’m helping King Arthur fight a dragon.” His mom remained silent. “Mom, I thought I told you that I wasn’t full of beans.” Steven’s voice turned angry. “Stop saying I’m full of beans. I’m with King Arthur and we’re fighting a dragon. I’m not full of beans!” He threw his helmet and sword against the wall and got inches away from his mother’s face.
“Mom, I’m a knight. Stop it. I’m not full of beans!” he yelled as he smacked his mother in the head. Her skull rolled off her rib cage and along the basement floor. “Mom, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I lost my temper.” Steven quickly apologized as he picked up his mother’s skull and placed it back on the pile of bones on the recliner. He picked up the duct tape and started taping the skull to the ribcage when the doorbell rang.
“Oh mom, I forgot to tell you, someone bought another one of my time machines,” Steven said in a chipper voice. He ran over to the closet in the corner of the room and started digging around. “Mom, this man said he wants to travel back in time.” He pulled out a rag covered in dried blood. He unrolled it and took out a long knife. In a deep voice, Steven spoke: “he wants to disappear to the 1500’s.”
He then retrieved a beat-up shovel from the closet, “When I’m done, I’ll put him in the backyard next to the others.” Steven gleefully whistled as he hopped up the basement steps to the living room.
Through the basement ceiling, Steven was heard opening the front door upstairs. Steven’s muffled, faint voice could be heard through the floorboards, “Hi there. You’re here to buy a time machine? Come on in.”