Overview Edit

George van tassel
George Van Tassel was a noted emissary of The Ashtar Command and recipient of the formula for a Time Machine.

Despite being responsible for the operational efficiency of an airport, Van Tassel lived 17 miles from the nearest phone and expected people to write him a letter if they planned on using his landing strip.

Van Tassel and his wife Eva built and operated "Come on Inn", a small cafe, underneath a giant rock on their property. Reportedly, Howard Hughes would land his plane just to get a piece of Eva Van Tassel's pie (it is unknown if the two had an arrangement allowing for Hughes to land without writing Van Tassel a letter in advance of each trip).

George would also regularly meditate under the giant rock. Due to the rock's piezo-electric characteristics, Van Tassel was able to communicate with extra-terrestrials. On August 21, 1953, a spaceship from Venus landed on Van Tassel's property. Shortly after, a Venusian came to the rock where George was meditating and greeting him by saying "I am Solganda, and I would be pleased to show you my craft"[1].


The Integratron Edit

The formula for a Time Machine is quite simple - there's nothing to it to remember.

F = (1 / T)

F being Frequency, T being Time, and 1 being the number of Crispy Crittered dicks that Phil Schneider had.

According to Van Tassel, this formula would enable one to go back to the time of Cesar provided that one is a mathematician. F = (1 / T) is also the foundation of The Integratron, a structure for scientific research into time, anti-gravity, and extended human life[2]. As per the instructions of Nikola Tesla's ghost, The Integratron is made of wood, concrete, glass, fiber glass, and metal. It has no screws.

The formula was given to Van Tassel by Ashtar -- a tall, blonde Cuban -- so that Van Tassel could go back in time and watch old TV shows.


  1. [1]George Van Tassel’s Amazing Integratron at Giant Rock - Kathy Doore
  2. [2]Integratron Home Page