They're so simple. They're so crazy and ridiculous. In fact, they're just so implausible and unsubstantiated and medically unproven and unsound; they're just so wacky and no one with any sorta medical degree will tell you about them. But that's EXACTLY WHY THEY WORK! 

I mean, they are so silly, they're just so silly and ridiculous. They're literally rocks; rocks with no redeeming properties or discernible value, but folks are buying them. Because they work. They're so simple; they're just so gosh-darn silly and simple and unfettered by rhyme or reason or scientific evidence that somehow, THAT'S EXACTLY WHY IT WORKS. The FDA doesn't approve, the AMA thinks its a fraud, your friends are worried you're in a cult, but THAT'S EXACTLY WHY IT WORKS.

Someone out there right now, heck probably hundreds of folks out there right now have zappers attached and inserted into various parts of their bodies. If you are not one of these people, you should be. THEY CURE CANCER FOR FUCK'S SAKE! AND THEY'RE SO SIMPLE! STRAP ROCKS TO YOUR BODY!


They're so silly and simple; and that's exactly why they work.