Richard Hoagland

Overview Edit

Richard Charles Hoagland is a sack of shit.

Born April 25, 1945, Hoagland is an American sack of shit, and a proponent of various conspiracy theories about NASA, lost alien civilizations on the Moon and on Mars and other related topics. He was once a museum curator but has not held a value-creating job in society since 1983.

Accolades Edit

The Face on Mars Edit

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Only a Derros would deny that this is anything other than an enormous human face carved by our Martian ancestors.

On the Cydonia region of Mars, between the Arandas and Bamberg Craters, stands a clear and irrefutable humanoid face. Hoagland discovered this ancient structure on Viking Orbiter batch-processing image #035A72. The face is also surrounded by pyramids and shit that were built by an advanced, but now defunct, Martian civilization.




The Shard, Tower-Cude, and Castle Edit

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These things are floating 1.5 miles above the surface of the moon and can be nothing other than a shard, a tower-cube, and a castle.

Hoagland is quoted as saying, "I came up with the term 'Shard' as a portmanteau of the words 'shit' and 'hard', as in 'this shit is hard to believe.'"




Pioneer Plaques Edit

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Contrary to what everyone else in the world believes, Richard C Hoagland claims that it was he - and not Carl Sagan - who crafted the interplanetary message inscribed upon the Pioneer 10 and Pioneer 11 space probe plaques.