Your cats... give them to me, now.

In the dark woods of Pennsylvania there lurks a canine bodybuilding monster that has terrorized local residents and cat owners alike. I am talking, of course, about the Doglike-Arnold-Monster of Central Pennsylvania.

Comprising about 7 to 8 feet of pure Austrian muscle, the Doglike-Arnold-Monster is believed to have an appearance that is mostly canine in nature, but with a very muscular body that resembles that of bodybuilder/movie star/governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Coast to Coast AM host George Noory can sum up the creature best:

“Its got a wolf, its got a wolf face and head, and an animal wolf-like body that is very muscular that almost looks like a human that would be working out.” - George Noory

Not much is known about the Doglike-Arnold-Monster, but eyewitnesses of the creature have been able to gather some facts about it:


Shit! I don't have any change for the bus!

  • It can apparently walk bipedally, similar to that of an Arnold Schwarzenegger, and it can walk on all limbs like a dog.
  • It has a flat back. Like, you know, like the back of a man.
  • The creature loves to eat cats. BTW, if your cat disappears, it was probably eaten by the Doglike-Arnold-Monster.
  • The creature is a fan of its local transit system and can often be found riding a bus when it is hunting cats.
  • It may also look like a skunk
  • Also, the creature might be a lion monster with a missing toe that appears in mirrors during televised presidential debates when Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton appear.